This week has been interesting, I decided to throw my hat into the ring of free speech on youtube in my spare time. So. If you want to see,

[link] go to the link for it.

Last night at 7:30, my mom took her final breathe, surrounded by me, my sister, my brother, my two aunts, my cousin, and her boyfriend. For years she has fought cancer and beat it everytime. This time, it won. She was diagnosed with bone cancer that moved into her lung and she contracted pnemonia in january. The fluid began to go through her body and she was in and out of the ICU. Monday she took a turn for the worse and she was moved into the ICU, Thursday she pulled the tubes out herself. Saturday she did the same thing. They decided to pull the plug.

I sat there and held her hand as she went, crying and feeling the loss deep in my heart, but I knew she was at peace, no more suffering.

She loved life, everyone who had known her was touched by her and her influence was great. She would give advice, she would laugh at anything. I was really blessed to have a great mother.

I love you mom, Rest in peace.

As stated a lot of things changed in my life. My mother is sick with cancer, I am still unemployed and I find myself more and more away from the internet. Mostly because of my new relationship with Becky. A girl who kinda lives with me now. We have our arguements but we make it work out. I am just hoping and praying it works better. That I do not screw up anytime soon. On that note this is going to be a short Journal. I have been learning tutorials in order to help my art and make it better. I am hoping it is working. I have seen an influx of people favoriting and viewing my work now and it makes me wonder what I did right.

Note the fun of being bored

Well, I haven't updated this in a while this is what I am up to. I am flat broke with no job, I have been keeping busy with homework and trying to find a job. I have no clue what to do and I am scared about it. My phone is close to being shut off and I am not able to stay afloat in this god forsaken town known as Oswego. I am about to drop out just to find a job. Either way I am bored.
I have been doing a lot of pictures lately and I have yet to actually get anyone interested. I don't do nudes, not fucking point in it here with so many photographers doing it. Besides, I am not a nude photographer. I love the female body but there is a trust, if she does not want to get naked I am not going to force it. Same with me, as me as a model I am not interested in showing my junk to people. So though I try to pick beautiful women and I know they are, but people on here I swear are only interested if someone is showing a fucking tit. Yeah yet how many people actually do this type of photography, IT IS DONE TO DEATH!!!
Don't get me wrong, I love the tasteful ones (Which are seldom). I love seeing the female form, but the problem is there is a limit to art and just porn and very few know that line. Yes you can show the titties and the Canooch, but when the chick is spread eagled and looking innocent or like she is about to orgasim, then I am turned off as an artist and I want to just fucking never look at that person's account again. With legs closed it leaves more of an imagination.
Also, I have to say it, there are too many perverts here who look at that shit to jerk off too. I would be flattered but when they leave the comments like that, "Wow your so hot you make me horney." it makes me want to say "Want a punch in the cock then?" Or the ones who sit there and comment on how it is porn even if it is a back shot showing nothing, to those people I have to say, "JUST BECAUSE YOU ACTUALLY ARE NOT HOT ENOUGH OR BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH TO BE IN THE SHOT DOES NOT MAKE IT PORN!!"
Then you have the "Christians" who state that nudity is wrong and should not be publicized, what kind of shit is that? It is Art and some of the actual great artists were christians and yet they actually did nude paintings. Nothing in the bible states "Nudity is a crime" It does say lust is though, but what is lust? Lust is when you want to FUCK a person, so if the photographer wants to FUCK the person, then yeah it's bad in a christian sense. But look at the Jackoffs who are like "OH I LOVE YOU AND I WILL FUCK YOU." They are worse. Me, I pick beauty, not hot. A 300 pound girl can be beautiful, do many lust after them? a 95 anemic person can be beautiful, do many lust after them? That is the point I am making, NOTHING IS WRONG WITH NUDE PHOTGRAPHY AS LONG AS IT IS TASTEFUL. John Lennon did it along with his wife, though it was a little creepy, he showed the beauty of his life through it. Looking at him in those times, happy and in love, it showed a side of him that was cool and different. Still creepy though.
Here is what I believe makes tasteful Nude Photography and I will explain why I feel this way.
1) It is not promoting Sex or Suggests Sexual Conquest-When a woman is spread eagle, looking at the camera teasingly, then she is promoting you to want to fuck her in my opinion because she is opening her privates in a suggestive nature therefore she is showing you the goods in hopes you get turned on. She is suggesting she is horny and wants to fuck.
2) The contours of the body are shown with a positive light-As in shading and lighting, contrasting and comparing, I will give examples of this in this spot, I am not promoting these artists but I feel these will show what I mean. They are listed from most shadows to more light.
[link]
[link]
[link]
Note the poses and how they are designed, your not looking at them with lust but more like "God this is beautiful"
3) The artists must pose the Model in a way that will flow with emotion and beauty-Though this is more like the first, look at the three links I placed in here, note the females are posed in a way that seems to add emotion and the lighting gives them a strong, yet subtle look to them. And it projects the artist and Model's view
4) Sex can be used, but in a tasteful manner- Okay this is Porn: Showing dick in Vagina. This is not porn: Showing a woman straddling a man with his arms around her and her back arched in pleasure. Why? Simple, YOUR NOT SEEING THE ACT IT IS SUGGESTING THE ACT BUT YOUR ACTUALLY SEEING THE BEAUTY OF SEX NOT THE ACTUAL FUCKING. You want fucking watch Porn.
and finally
5) Photographer respect your Model, Model respect your Photographer-THIS DOES NOT MEAN FORCE YOUR MODEL TO STRIP AND SHOW HER VAGINA!!and Models- THIS DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO LISTEN. But when the model and photographer get along, you two can play off each other and even come up with ideas together, making the photoshoot less stressful and more fun. That is what I mean by respect. Just work with one another and be happy with what comes out of it. Not every Photographer is perfect and no model is anyways. So just have fun and your art will show it.

Now then what I would like to see in more Nude photography, just to help those because there are too many that have been overdone to death here. Too many to list in here.
1) Show flaws-Beauty is not without flaws, show more of them.
2) More images depicting love between a man and a woman-not sex, but something like this. (Warning it is a little creepy but it is beautiful to me) [link]
and finally
3)Show Homosexuality-Topic that is shown here and everytime I see it I think it is good on both sides, call me a freak but seeing it makes me realize love is blind.

Now then, I used Female in a lot of this because I prefer female models, it goes both ways though same with the males, showing too much Dick is untasteful.
So in closing I hope people see this and actually it helps them.

Peace.

Halloween pics up soon.

Note the fun of being bored

I got a new camera and it is cool, check out my new shit now.